Wednesday, March 26, 2008

POTC

Hey guys,
Heres my fanfic, I did it on Pirates of the Caribbean. Have a read through it and let me know what you guys think.
Hope you enjoy =)
...


Pirates of the Caribbean, the Curse of the Black Pearl

There was a loud and piercing bang. Jack stood by the treasure chest holding his smoking pistol, aimed towards Barbossa.
‘Ha! Ten years you’ve been carrying that pistol around, and you end up wasting your shot.’ Barbossa smirked. Jack blew the smoke from the barrel of his pistol and then put it back in his pocket.
‘He didn’t waste it.’ Will remarked, while standing over the Aztec chest. In his left hand was a medallion, with blotches of blood on it. He released the gold medallion, dropping it into the chest, revealing the cut across his palm.

After watching the gold drop into the treasure chest Barbossa looked down to see a trail of blood, seeping through his shirt. In pain, he grabbed his chest, and clenched his fist as he fell to the ground dead.

‘Well, you're the worst pirate I've ever heard of.’ Will said smiling, while he wrapped a cloth around his hand. ‘You're a man who can be trusted, who can be counted on, and who can’t betray his friends. What kind of pirate is that?’ he jokingly asked.
‘The worst.’ Jack replied, picking up a sword off the ground.
‘Let's get out of here.’ Will said as he started to make his way out of the damp, dark cave.
‘Oh, you’re not going anywhere.’ Jack responded, as he quickly stabbed Will with the sword, and then pushed him to the ground.

Walking out of the cave, Jack was met by Elizabeth. ‘Where is he? Where’s Will?’ She asked.
'I’m sorry. Barbossa, ah, killed him.’ Jack lied, deviously thinking this was his chance to make Elizabeth his.
‘Oh no!’ she cried, shaking her head.
‘It’s okay, you’ve got me Elizabeth.’ Jack put his arms around her and slyly kissed her cheek. ‘You know you enjoyed the other night on the island with me and of course with the rum. We, pirates aren’t that bad.’
‘Um, we should be getting back. My father is probably worrying.’ Elizabeth replied, pushing Jack away from her and brushing her dress as if to ward off the evil Jack.

As Elizabeth and Jack arrived back at Port Royal they were met by a squad from the Royal Navy. Commodore James Norrington quickly grabbed Jack, as one of his men approached Jack with shackles. Norrington snapped the manacles shut around Jacks wrists and nodded at a couple of the Navy crew, ‘Take him away!’ He ordered, as they held onto Jacks chains and steered him in the direction of the jail.

Looking back at Elizabeth, Jack winked with a huge smirk across his face, before disappearing through the jail doors.

A few days later while Elizabeth and her father were going for a walk along the parapet of Fort Charles, Commodore Norrington came running up to them looking very concerned . ‘Sir!’ He shouted, ‘Jack has escaped! It’s strange, there was no damage to the cell; he must have been set free.’
A coy smile appeared on Elizabeth’s face as she turned her head to look out to sea. Governor Swann looked in the direction of his daughter’s gaze and saw the ghostly pirate ship, ‘the Black Pearl!’ he gasped, looking at the very distinctive black sails of the Pearl. The ship was speedily sailing through the waters heading straight towards the fort.

As the Black Pearl got closer, Governor Swann could make out Jack standing at the bow. ‘Sir! Shall I break out the cannons?’ asked Commodore Norrington.

Before the Governor had the chance to respond, Elizabeth jumped over the edge of the parapet.

Onboard Black Pearl, Jack watched as Elizabeth plunged into the sea with a splash. Leaning over the side of the ship he threw a rope into the water, for Elizabeth to climb up. Once aboard the ship, Jack grabbed Elizabeth and slowly kissed her. After a long embrace, Jack ran along the deck towards the steering wheel while Elizabeth followed.

Ana-Maria was waiting at the wheel, ‘Captain Sparrow, the Black Pearl is yours!’ Jack grabbed the wheel and ran his hand lovingly along the rail. The look on his face was pure happiness; the wheel felt good to be back in his hands.
‘Ana-Maria, trim the mainsail!’ He shouted
‘Aye, aye, sir!’ She replied.
‘Mr. Gibbs, start cleaning. I want every inch of the Pearl spic-and-span and in ship-shape!’ yelled Jack. Gibbs executed a salute.

Jack stood proudly at the wheel. “Ah this is the pirates life…I’ve got my ship back, got the girl, got the treasure and all is right with the world.’ He began to unconsciously hum ‘yo, ho… yo, ho…’
‘…A pirate’s life for me.’ finished Elizabeth. Jack grinned and winked at her again, before wrapping his arms around her, as they sailed off out to sea.



3 comments:

Ashleigh L said...

Your fanfiction is good Ashlee. Good use of words etc, they fit in well to make it seem real...
Only thing I think is that Will should not have died haha, he is my favorite character!!
But its good overall, just you could have made the ending more dramatic to capture the readers attention more...But im just said because you killed Will off!!!!haha

Anonymous said...

haha well being a Johnny Depp fan, i couldnt kill him off so Will Turner had to go. Sorry...

On the actual film it has Jack Sparrow on the boat singing to himself at the end, so i tried to keep a similar ending but change it to him being with Elizabeth.
But I agree. I couldve made it a bit more interesting, but as i said, i tried to keep in touch with the original movie.

But Im glad you liked it. Thanks for the nice feedback.

Maryam said...

Hey ash, iv never watched any of the POTC movies but after reading your fanfic, it seems to be really interesting! Like ashleigh said, good use of words. Its easy to understand and theres many interesting quotes i liked that u have used, for instance...

“Ah this is the pirates life…I’ve got my ship back, got the girl, got the treasure and all is right with the world.’ He began to unconsciously hum ‘yo, ho… yo, ho…’

That adds a bit of humour after just having someone killed in the story and i think its cool you changed the mood like so. Great story :)