Cassie awoke with intensifying pains in her lower abdomen. Running to Sally’s bedroom she stopped suddenly, looking down to realize that her water had just broken. Collapsing to the ground in shock, she yelled to Sally and Ric. “Help! Wake up, I need your guys help!” yelled Cassie. Within seconds both Sally and Ric ran from their bedrooms to find Cassie curled over on the floor in agony. ‘I need to go to the hospital, the baby’s coming!” cried Cassie.
Ric and Sally stood there silently in shock, not knowing what to say…
Cassie looks up, glaring at the both of them,” hurry up she cried”.
Ric helps Cassie down the stairs and into the car while Sally rings Colleen to come over and look after Pippa.
The drive to the hospital is agonizing for Cassie. She is in a huge amount of pain and cannot get comfortable, even with the help of Sally beside her.
“Are you ok Cas?” said Ric
“NO!!!!!” she screamed, “can’t you go any faster Ric, I’m in agony”, yelled Cassie
“I’m trying Cas, but I’m already going over the speed limit and need to be safe” says Ric.
They arrive at the hospital Cassie is taken into the delivery room on a stretcher.
Sally follows Cassie into the delivery room while Ric goes into the waiting room and calls Martha to tell her what is happening.
Martha is still at the bar trying to get rid of the last few of her customers when she receives the call from Ric.
“Hey Martha, its Ric, were at the hospital, Cassie’s gone into labour, when can you come?”
“Oh my god!” screamed Martha. “I’ll lock up the bar now and come straight there, I won’t be long” said Martha.
“Ok, see you soon” said Ric as he hung up the phone.
As Martha locked up the bar, she received another phone call, but this was an unknown number to Martha.
“Hello” says Martha.
“Hello, my name is Janet, I’m Hank’s mother. I am trying to get in contact with Cassie but she is not answering her cell phone. Do you no where she is?” asked Janet.
“Ohh, Cassie is at the hospital, she’s in labour” said Martha.
“Pardon me, did you say she’s in labour, is it Hank’s baby?” asked Janet.
“Yes, it is, I’m sorry, didn’t you know?” asked Martha.
“No! She exclaimed, Hank didn’t mention that I was going to be a grandmother but he didn’t share much with us”. “The reason I was calling Cassie is because Hank has been involved in a car accident earlier this morning, he was traveling back to Summer Bay to see Cassie, but he has been killed”, cried Janet.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I am heading to the hospital now so I will inform Cassie and make sure she calls you when she can” said Martha.
“Thanks Dear, that would be greatly appreciated”, said Janet.
Martha heads straight to the hospital where she is greeted by Ric.
“I’ve got some bad news” asked Martha.
“What is it, what’s happened?” asked Ric.
“It’s Hank, he was on his way here to see Cassie and he has been killed in a car accident”, exclaimed Martha.
“Oh no, this is going to crush Cassie, we can’t tell her, not yet anyway”, says Ric.
“I need you to call Hank” screamed Cassie to Sally. “He needs to be here it’s his baby too” she cried.
“Ok Cas, I will go and get Ric to call him, u keep pushing” said Sally and she left the delivery room.
As Sally approached Ric and Martha they both asked anxiously “How’s Cassie?”
“She wants Hank to be here, so can you call him Ric and let him know that he needs to come immediately”, says Sally.
Martha and Ric both looked away, trying to avoid having to tell Sally what has happened.
“What’s going on you two?” asked Sally.
“I’ve had a phone call from Hank’s mother, Hank was killed in a car accident earlier heading to the Bay” said Martha.
“Ohh god, Cassie is going to be devastated, we have to keep this from her until she’s had the baby”, said Sally.
Sally turned away and headed back towards the delivery room.
“Ric has left a message on his answer phone Cas, he should get it soon and be on his way” said Sally anxiously.
Cassie was screaming in pain as the doctor said “Just one more push and the baby will be here, you can do it” he exclaimed.
Cassie grabbed onto Sally’s hand as she pushed.
“It’s a girl” said the doctor.
“Ohh Cas, she’s absolutely gorgeous!” cried Sally.
“Can I hold her please?” asked Cassie
“Of course, just a moment” Said the nurse.
As Cassie held her daughter for the first time she cried tears of joy and sadness. She wished that Hank was there with her to treasure their baby daughter.
“I’m naming her Sally” said Cassie.
Sally’s eyes lit up, she hugged Cassie and said “Thank you; you don’t know how much this means to me Cassie”.
Ric and Sally stood there silently in shock, not knowing what to say…
Cassie looks up, glaring at the both of them,” hurry up she cried”.
Ric helps Cassie down the stairs and into the car while Sally rings Colleen to come over and look after Pippa.
The drive to the hospital is agonizing for Cassie. She is in a huge amount of pain and cannot get comfortable, even with the help of Sally beside her.
“Are you ok Cas?” said Ric
“NO!!!!!” she screamed, “can’t you go any faster Ric, I’m in agony”, yelled Cassie
“I’m trying Cas, but I’m already going over the speed limit and need to be safe” says Ric.
They arrive at the hospital Cassie is taken into the delivery room on a stretcher.
Sally follows Cassie into the delivery room while Ric goes into the waiting room and calls Martha to tell her what is happening.
Martha is still at the bar trying to get rid of the last few of her customers when she receives the call from Ric.
“Hey Martha, its Ric, were at the hospital, Cassie’s gone into labour, when can you come?”
“Oh my god!” screamed Martha. “I’ll lock up the bar now and come straight there, I won’t be long” said Martha.
“Ok, see you soon” said Ric as he hung up the phone.
As Martha locked up the bar, she received another phone call, but this was an unknown number to Martha.
“Hello” says Martha.
“Hello, my name is Janet, I’m Hank’s mother. I am trying to get in contact with Cassie but she is not answering her cell phone. Do you no where she is?” asked Janet.
“Ohh, Cassie is at the hospital, she’s in labour” said Martha.
“Pardon me, did you say she’s in labour, is it Hank’s baby?” asked Janet.
“Yes, it is, I’m sorry, didn’t you know?” asked Martha.
“No! She exclaimed, Hank didn’t mention that I was going to be a grandmother but he didn’t share much with us”. “The reason I was calling Cassie is because Hank has been involved in a car accident earlier this morning, he was traveling back to Summer Bay to see Cassie, but he has been killed”, cried Janet.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I am heading to the hospital now so I will inform Cassie and make sure she calls you when she can” said Martha.
“Thanks Dear, that would be greatly appreciated”, said Janet.
Martha heads straight to the hospital where she is greeted by Ric.
“I’ve got some bad news” asked Martha.
“What is it, what’s happened?” asked Ric.
“It’s Hank, he was on his way here to see Cassie and he has been killed in a car accident”, exclaimed Martha.
“Oh no, this is going to crush Cassie, we can’t tell her, not yet anyway”, says Ric.
“I need you to call Hank” screamed Cassie to Sally. “He needs to be here it’s his baby too” she cried.
“Ok Cas, I will go and get Ric to call him, u keep pushing” said Sally and she left the delivery room.
As Sally approached Ric and Martha they both asked anxiously “How’s Cassie?”
“She wants Hank to be here, so can you call him Ric and let him know that he needs to come immediately”, says Sally.
Martha and Ric both looked away, trying to avoid having to tell Sally what has happened.
“What’s going on you two?” asked Sally.
“I’ve had a phone call from Hank’s mother, Hank was killed in a car accident earlier heading to the Bay” said Martha.
“Ohh god, Cassie is going to be devastated, we have to keep this from her until she’s had the baby”, said Sally.
Sally turned away and headed back towards the delivery room.
“Ric has left a message on his answer phone Cas, he should get it soon and be on his way” said Sally anxiously.
Cassie was screaming in pain as the doctor said “Just one more push and the baby will be here, you can do it” he exclaimed.
Cassie grabbed onto Sally’s hand as she pushed.
“It’s a girl” said the doctor.
“Ohh Cas, she’s absolutely gorgeous!” cried Sally.
“Can I hold her please?” asked Cassie
“Of course, just a moment” Said the nurse.
As Cassie held her daughter for the first time she cried tears of joy and sadness. She wished that Hank was there with her to treasure their baby daughter.
“I’m naming her Sally” said Cassie.
Sally’s eyes lit up, she hugged Cassie and said “Thank you; you don’t know how much this means to me Cassie”.
7 comments:
Hey guys, this is just my draft for my fanfiction..
So give me some feedback as to what I need to improve.
Thanks, Ashleigh...
Wow, that`s very dramatic.
Just one thing. Dramas like home and away go on for an indefinite amount of time, so each episode is a part of an on-going story, right?
Your story reads very much like a (particularly dramatic) drama episode, but your fanfic is definite, right? So surely it needs a start and an end ... ? I don`t mean a full-on end to home and way, just a nice way to wrap-up your sub-story.
For example I still wonder what happens after she is told her partner has died.
Also people who have never seen the show, or people who have seen it but just not recently, will be lost because you are using alot of names straight out of the series. Some sort of skippable character intro would help maybe.
What do you think?
Well first what do you mean by definete? I have used the characters from the show and created my own episode.
And also that is the ending to my episode, because in Home and Away there are many episodes where the show ends dramatic and you have to wait till the next episode to find out what will happen, that is how the show captures its audience, so this is what I have done with my episode, because it then makes u want to know what will Cassie do when she finds out etc? Also I only have 800 words to write with so it can't exactly be a very long episode that I write...
I dont think it would be a very good idea to not include the characters name in the beginning because that is not how the real Home and Away is set, and that is what I am trying to portray. If you look at last year's fanfiction you will see many people have done t.v. programmes and they include the characters names from the start not later on...
Do you have any other comments on my choice of words or anything like that????
Hey Ashleigh,
Just read your fanfic and i thought it was really good. Very much home and away style and as 'gennoveus' pointed out, it was full of drama. There was one or two grammar mistakes but im sure they were just typo's.
I liked it how you added a new character in, that was a really cool idea.
My only criticism is that i wouldnt think Cassie would want Hank there, but i understand you need to use her wanting him at the birth to connect the story. And Ive always thought Cassie to be a strong character and pictured her to be calm when she does have her baby. But thats just my impression of her.
Otherwise I thought you did a really good job and being a home and away fan i could really picture your story fitting in to the story line.
Well done =)
Hey ash. Well im a HUGE fan of home and away and so i enjoyed reading your fanfic :) I liked the words uve chosen, in home and away its always simple, basic and straight to the point which is good so it doesnt drag on. I like how martha decides to lock up the bar right away. haha she always seems to do that when its an emergency! I think its funny how Sally calls Colleen to babysit pippa. Its become so repetitive in home and away to use Colleen for these sorts of things so its nice to have the classics in your Fanfic.
Killing of Henk didnt bother me as such. Iv never really liked him because of his dark past. Cassie will be devasted when she hears, but shes always been a strong character.
Wonder how she will react about all of this in your fanfic :)
Oh and one more thing, I LOVED how cassie decided to name her baby Sally.
They have always been so close because of everything that had happened in the past. Its something cassie would do and i could see that being used on the show itself.
Was fun to read :)!
Hey thanx Maryam and Ashlee for your guys feedback..
I done another copy, mostly the same just found a few typos like u said Ash haha.. will post 2mrw but it practically the same..
I know Cassie is a calm person, but I saw it as who can be calm wen giving birth hahaha..neways thanx for ur nice feedback guys..very appreciated...
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