Johnny cooper is standing at the door with a knife and holding Pippa as his hostage. He is back to enact his revenge on Sally.
Sally, Colleen, Alf and Dan stand opposite him all scared and in shock.
“Don’t come any closer Sally or I will hurt Pippa. You killed my brother and now you have to suffer. You’re the reason he is not here today”, yelled Johnny.
“Johnny that’s not fair. Rocco never wanted to be in your gang. He was only doing it to please you, not because that’s what he wanted. He wanted to be a good person”.
“No sally. This gang was his family. He was prepared to kill you for me and when he stabbed you, I thought it was finally the end of you. But you didn’t die, so I am here to finish off the job” said Johnny.
“Please just let go of Pippa Johnny, she’s only a kid. I am sure we can work something out. We both know Rocco wouldn’t have wanted this. Put the knife down please”, cried Sally
Out of nowhere, Dan jumps onto Johnny and Pippa runs into Sally’s arms. Johnny stabs Dan in the chest and runs off. Dan is lying in a pool of blood.
“Oh heavens someone call the emergency!” cried Colleen.
Dan is in hospital having surgery and its not looking to good.His wife Leah is devastated and in shock. She won’t say a word to anybody, especially Sally.
Everyone waits in the hospital in tears and in disbelief.
Rachel comes out and everyone gets up and huddles around her to see what the news is.
“What is it Doc” asks Alf
“Im afraid I have some very bad news”, said Rachel.
“Please tell me Dan is fine”, cries Leah.
Taking a deep breath, Rachel begins to deliver the saddening news.
“Due to the extensive blood loss, we couldn’t stabilise him and so he wasn’t able to make it through the surgery. I am so sorry Leah,” said Rachel.
Leah cries with agony and collapses on the floor. Sally runs out the hospital with Alf chasing her.
“This is all my fault. If I had jumped onto Johnny instead of Dan none of this would have happened. How could I ever let Leah know how sorry I am Alf. Dan is dead because of me!” yells Sally
“That’s not true love, Dan was trying to save young Pippa. With time, Leah will understand all of this. He died because he saved a little girl and her mother Sal. It shows how much of a good bloke Dan really is”, explains Alf.
“Oh Alf, everything is such a mess. How is Leah going to get through this”, says Sally.
“With time, everything will heal. She has all of us to look after her and support her. Just try to stay strong for her ay love”, explains Alf.
The next morning, Leah is on her bed crying and in grief. Her son Vee-Jay is next to her keeping her company. They both look at old photo albums and try to remember the good times they spent with Dan.
The phone starts to ring.
“Hello?” answers Leah
“Hi Leah its Sal, how are you feeling?’ asks Sally
“In heartache Sal, like this whole nightmare is just a dream”, said Leah
“Can I pop over, there are things I need to explain”, asks Sally
“Yeah okay”, responds Leah
Sally arrives to the house and hugs Leah tightly.
“Leah I am so sorry, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. You know I would have never wanted Dan to go through with what he did. He jumped on Johnny and then everything happened so fast from there”, explained Sally.
“Look Sal, you’re my best friend, you don’t need to explain what happened that tragic night. I know this isn’t your fault or anybody’s fault except Johnny Cooper’s. The only thing keeping me together is knowing that Dan saved Pippa and didn’t give Johnny a chance to stab you. He took the risks and put out his life for somebody else. That makes him a loving person and I know he would want me to be proud of him right now”, explained Leah.
“I don’t even know what to say. I’ll be here for you every step of the way Leah. We are all here for you”, said Sally.
“Thanks Sal, you can start by putting these photos on the board for Dan’s service tomorrow. Im thinking we should have it on the beach” says Leah.
“Sounds beautiful to me”, responds Sally.
It’s around 9:00pm and Sally decides to go home after spending the day comforting Leah.
She goes home, opens the door, only to find and face Johnny Cooper in her living room once again.
3 comments:
Hi Maryam, well aren’t you the copy cat!!! haha na, your fan fiction is cool and way different to mine. I like how you have used an episode that has already happened but changed the characters around and the different outcome (from Sally been stabbed to Dan).
I’m still quite sad that you still made Dan die :( .But it’s a way better ending for him to die than in the real episode because he doesn’t die physically on the show, which I think is dumb, so your idea was way better!!!!!!
Well your fan fiction is really good, you have written Alf so well, he always says love, doesn’t he!! Also you have written Sally exactly right. I could imagine if this had really happened she would be absolutely distraught. She would definitely blame herself and feel very badly for Leah losing Dan, because Johnnie Cooper was after Sally not Dan. There are a few word choices in there that could be changed, they aren't big things, but could help to understand the text a bit more. For example “Dan is lying in a pool of blood”.
It sounds like it needs something else in the sentence. You could say Johnnie stabs Dan and runs off, leaving him lying there in a pool of his blood”
Also at the end when you say “She goes home, opens the door, to find and face Johnny Cooper in her loving room once again”.
When I read it I found it confusing to read find and face, in a way it didn’t really seem like you needed both the words there. You could say she opens the door to find Johnny Copper sitting in her living room again or she opens the door facing her worst nightmare of Johnnie Cooper back in her living room.
Also you ended your fan fiction at the right moment, just when everyone wants to know what happens know between Sally and Johnny, the episodes over!!! Good way to attract your readers.
Anyways, your fan fiction is cool as, I wouldn’t worry to much about the little grammar things. The pictures you have included are cool as well.
Well done!!! :)
Hey,
I thought your fanfic was really good.
As Ashleigh said, it has a good use of words that really fit in with the style of home and away, you described the characters perfectly. And again just a couple of grammar mistakes that Ashleigh pointed out to you.
Other than that it was a good storyline and a good way to make Dan die. Only criticism is how Leah wouldnt talk to Sally at the hospital. Sallys the only person Leah would ever want to talk to in that kind of situation, so i thought that was a bit sad.
But good job.
hey guys thanks, the only reason i killed Dan this way was because i think it was lame how he died from abseiling on the actual show itself. I also wanted to cause some tension between Sally and Leah and then at the end come together like they usually always do. Yea i realised the few grammar mistakes after i posted it up haha. I decided to end it with Sally facing Johnny because like Ashley said, home and away always ends with people wanting to know what will happen next and that attracts the audience.
Post a Comment